I’ve got LIFE on the brain. Yesterday would have been my sister’s birthday. This afternoon, I sat and watched a neighbor say goodbye to the love of her life. He had passed away in the night. Joe was only 56. Just two days ago, a friend asked me over a ridiculously nice dinner, “Why do you do what you do? What makes you tick?” It made me think a little bit…and this weekend confirmed my answer. 

I spent my entire childhood in total survival, and I have watched some of my favorite people die. And so I have this enormous desire — all I want to do is live. More than live, I want to THRIVE. And nothing gives me more pleasure than to see others try the same. You and I will die. But I want to see us thrive first, and have the most amazing, ridiculously beautiful time at it.

Here’s what I know for certain. If you only live for the rainbows, the happy moments, the bliss, the wins and successes, the vacations and holidays, the romance…you are really going to miss out on the rest of your life. Life is ALL of it. It’s in the dark moments, the grief, the failures, the embarrassments and anxieties, the confusion…it’s in those moments that if you learn to lean into them, you will find immense treasures. Don’t avoid your life, any of it. Take it all on.

There’s a Buddhist teaching that says our response to life should be Yes. Yes to everything. Acceptance of all that comes our way, because it is. Living is feeling the flow of life, to feel the life force in all things. And when you avoid anything, you’ll create a clog in the flow. You plug things up. You refuse the entirety of it all, which is what brings richness, growth, beauty.

I just spent four days in the desert, training with horses in 100 degrees. It makes me sound practically like I’m in the Special Forces, doesn’t it? But not true. I have walked much of my life with this enormous bucket of fear. Through a lot of coaching and self work, I had dissolved most of it. But there was this certain anxiety left that reared its head only in certain situations. I couldn’t name it. Not until a 1700 pound horse showed me, as I was pinned in the corner of a trailer with him staring me down. In that moment, I saw the ancient demons I’d been walking with, trauma from my childhood. I saw it, and so I could finally say goodbye to it. Yes. Hello. I can name you, finally, my old Fear. Now, I’m going to do everything to face you. For the rest of my training, I volunteered for everything that scared the shit out of me.

The moment I can see and name my fear, I relish going after it. It’s difficult to change something if you can’t name it, can’t source it or know it, so that’s half the work. But once you see your fear for what it is, go after it! Chase it down. Love it, face it, burn it, throw it away, whatever is needed to alchemize this force. This is the secret to thriving. Fear does nothing but hold you back from living your life in YES. (I have a new, more colorful mantra than Yes, but I’ll leave you to make up your own creative inspirations).

I have a certain amount of urgency for letting go of fears when I identify them. It’s because I know the sands of my hourglass are trickling. It doesn’t matter if I’ll live to be 100; life’s buffet is just too gorgeous. And fear is just too painful. You have the choice to say yes, to lean in to everything, including fear. When you lean in to the very thing you’re afraid of, you’ll find the courage you’ve been seeking. And you will come to be free from your fear. You will find that you have a greater power than your fear and it lives in total silence and calm. This is my practice, to find my true power.

I have a feeling that our world is only going to get more intense. Learn to transcend everything that scares you, and you will thrive. Especially the entrepreneurs out there who are trying to express and create dreams. This world is going to really need you. Do everything in your power to chase down your fears. Don’t waste time — take care of what’s in the way so you can experience the freedom and awesome life force that is waiting for you beyond the fear.