There was a point in my life, about 5 years ago, when I felt utterly bereft. Of love, family, identity, security. I had gone through tremendous losses, some of them because of conscious choices, and some that came like a thief in the night. I also moved to San Diego during this time. It felt upon arrival that the entire town was burning, literally. It was during the big 2008 fires. Not to be too dramatic, but it seemed the perfect metaphor for my life.

I went through a process where I let myself meltdown. There is a choice in this. You can resist pain, or you can lean in. I surrendered, let go, grieved, and walked around in plenty of confusion. Strange enough, in my dark night, I sensed there was intention. A good, bright intention that went beyond my present ability to understand with logic.

Great fires roar through our lives to prepare ground for tremendous new growth. It’s the way of Nature. If you find yourself in the midst of this, trust it. That sounds insane, doesn’t it? The last thing your controlling mind, which yearns for safety, security, and assurance, the last thing it wants is to trust chaos. But if you only breathe and lean in. Taking life in micro-minutes. Go within. You will start to feel the flow, a current.

Surfers know about this. They understand the tides, the cycles. They develop instinct and patience, to know when to grab the next ride. The rhythms and cycles of life are the same. Don’t panic. Just drop inward, find peace where you can, and face what hurts and what confuses you. Do your work, and you’ll come to understand that behind the night is dawn.

What’s happened in the last 5 years? Well, I barely recognize the person I had been. I’ve done plenty of hard personal work, but even more than that, I have been utterly graced with tremendous support from the universe. Individuals that shine with massive bright lights have shown up to guide me, incredible opportunities, dear friends to support and warm my life, and sweet love to make life more delicious. There have been plenty more ups and downs, but those are just waves, waves to ride. When you trust the forces around you, then they can support you.

Do your practice. There’s only one real work, and that is to understand the tides of your own life, to trust the currents, to feel into where this ocean wants to take you. When you trust the pull, no matter if it takes you beyond the confines of what your mind wants, you will come to love and trust that its always life and the world loving you. In every moment.